10 Questions with . . . JOJO Modesto

In the second part of our series entitled “10 Questions with. . . ” we chat with JoJo Modesto, a character loosely based on the character of Blanche DuBois from F. Scott Fitzgerald’s masterpiece 1983. A candid yet sentimental man of frothy build, JoJo nearly wept as he recounted his emotional journey from pediatric oncologist to part-time bass player for Fancy Ketchup.

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Jojo, in scrubs, prepares for surgery.

 1. What’s the best aspect of working with FK?
 
It’s the only job that I have so I guess it’s better than nothing.
 
2. Tell us about the album “For Whom My Balls Toil.”
 
“Grandpa’s Balls” really really weighs it down.
 
3. Who’s a bigger asshole, Coxx or Diablo?
 
They both keep trying to outdo one another, so it depends on the day. Once, Diablo said his urine could cure my acne, so he decided to pee on my face once a day for a month. Of course, I wouldn’t let him, but somehow he found out where I slept (my mom’s) and peed repeatedly on my face. I have to say, it did cure the acne, but as a result, something else formed on me that no doctor has been able to identify. At least Coxx brought me a pack of Oscar Meyer wieners one day when I was literally starving to death, and force fed them into my anus.
 
4. What is the future for FK?
 
I was told when I joined the band back in ’04 that we’d be playing the Great Western Forum for our 10-year reunion tour… So I’m pretty pumped up. 
 
5. Who is your least favorite member of the band? Why?
 
ALL OF EM! They all agreed when I joined the band that I would get paid 25 cents per day for the rest of my life. Seemed like a great deal at the time. I haven’t seen a check or even a quarter. Fuck Todd Wallenbrock!
 
6. If you could overdose on one drug, what would it be?
 
You know the scrapings you scratch off a lottery ticket? I’d love to overdose on that. After they pump my stomach at the ER and revive me, they’d tell me that I had the winning ticket and that I was now totally rich, and they’d have a sweet whore just waiting to take me home and make me feel better.
 
7. Sexual preference?
 
I prefer someone that’s blonde, long-legged, and terminally ill so I don’t have to tell ‘em what I gave ‘em. (he winks, mischievously.)
 
8. Favorite ice cream flavor?
 
Ice cream? ICE CREAM? I always got a scoop after my uncle…. (tears). Next question. 
 
9. Favorite artist that no one’s heard of?
 
Voluptuous Chunk.
 
10. Favorite FK song. Why?
 
“I Just Became Deaf (Now Fuck-Off!).” It’s a B-side.
Now, read Part 1 of series.

10 Questions with . . . Slick Dickson

In the first of a new series entitled “10 Questions with . . . ” we talk to musical and mathematical genius, human rights activist, and former mayor of Fresno, Slick Dickson. Whether waxing philosophically about a wide variety of esoteric topics or discussing the drinkability of Miller Genuine Draft, Slick makes for a humorous yet thought-provoking interview subject.

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Slick Dickson, ca. 1933

1. What’s the best aspect of working with FK?

Leaving the gig.

2. Who is your favorite comedian?

Osama Bin Laffin.

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Comedian Osama Bin Laffin

3. Can you briefly describe how the band formed?

We met in the unemployment line.

4. What is the future for FK?

The past.

5. Who is the true lead singer? Why?

Slick Dixon (cause he rules).

6. If you could overdose on one drug, what would it be?

Vagina, hands down.

7. You guys have like 6 bass players. Why?

It’s part of a (highly successful) prison outreach program.

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Slick Dickson, ca. 2009

8. Turn us on to a favorite artist that no one’s heard of.

Pablo Picasshole.

9. Would you rather be retarded or dead? Why?

I rather be dead retarded.

10. Use 3 adjectives to describe Jack Diablo.

Fucking Dumb-Ass Piece-of-Shit Loser.

Bottom of the Hill Photos Part I