For Ketchup so loved our fans that we gave them our newly begotten music video. Spread the Gospel.
Are you ready? Well, you don’t have a choice. Wonderin’ video drops this Tuesday, June 2. You can prepare by watching the trailer.
We are mere days away from releasing the animated music video for our classic track “Wonderin'” (aka the Schlong Song). In the meantime, here’s a little something to whet your appetite.
NOTW. You’ve seen it. Maybe you’ve wondered what the fuck it is.
The NOTW bumper stickers started popping up years ago. I saw one again today, large as life on the back window of a Ford F150.
At first, I didn’t know what NOTW stood for. I thought maybe it was the logo for a Queensryche cover band. Back then, I never would have guessed it was an evangelical Christian acronym that stands for “Not of This World.”
Are you fucking kidding me??!!
Jesus is an alien, fine. I’m cool with that. But, when he comes back, do you think he’ll really want to see all you douchebags displaying a logo that looks like it should be a tattoo right above some slut’s ass crack?
Enough already. Just so all you idiots know, the company NOTW hails from Corona, California. For those who have never had the distinct pleasure of passing through this bumblefuck town, Corona is a paradise of white racist desert people that smells like a cow’s sphincter. Oh, and NOTW is a for-profit company. It’s not an altruistic charity with the mission of spreading the word of God’s redeeming grace. When you display this sticker, you’re not saving souls—you’re helping the CEO afford to re-tile his pool.
When did being a good Christian translate into displaying a red-necky rock logo with a hidden gospel reference? You’re not the “cool Christian,” ok? There are few things I despise more than the “cool guy” Christian who says things like, “Let’s rap about Jesus, bro.” I hope when Jesus returns he’s like he was in the temple that one time, flipping over tables and shit, except now he’s flipping raised pickups with monster-truck tires and using his laser-beam eyes to burn the NOTW logos into douchey foreheads.
If you have a NOTW sticker on the back of your vehicle, here’s hoping you get Left Behind.
Help save the remaining Whore Huts: Buy this track.
Whore Hut (repeat)
I met with Ho Chi Minh
Told him about American sins
He said: “Why talk about geopolitics
When you can talk about pussies and dicks?”
Take me to the whore hut
In east Saigon
Where we drop the napalm
And all the children have no arms
In the Philippines
We look for little brown fucking machines
That’s what we bring
Third World women
Make the best sluts
They work for cheap
And even tickle your nuts
When we march on your country
No ifs, ands, or buts
Just lead us straight
To the whore hut
We’ll even stop in Taiwan
Don’t cry, is something wrong?
They want American money
They want Coca-Cola bottles
On April 30, 1975, North Vietnamese forces captured Saigon,
To some, a symbolic end to the ill-fated American imperial endeavor in Asia
To others the start of a repressive communist era
In which soldiers and sluts fought to stem the destruction of the last remaining whore huts
We scoured the land
Looking all around for some nice woman
Day after day of searching for sluts…
We stumbled on a whore hut
The port of Inchon
MacArthur surprise attacked from
The Japanese had Nanking
Hey, let’s try to top that thing
© 2011 Rager/Rager/Clark